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always... to look life in the face...
and to know it... for what it is...
Recent Entries 
2nd-Jan-2011 11:51 pm - What I need to do in 2011
movies // pride and prejudice
1. Heal my stomach and be able to eat and drink normally again
2. Lose a lot of weight
3. Work out a lot
4. Quit smoking
5. Make more friends
6. Get a job
7. Work on my comics and stories more
8. Get amazing marks
9. Choose what to do after getting an MA
10. GET A BOYFRIEND
4th-Apr-2009 05:24 pm(no subject)
movies // pride and prejudice
yesterday's emo/punk themed 30th birthday party for my "brother" (omg, I can't believe he's so old!!!) was awesome. It was weird cause it took place in a rented sauna, which reminded me of middle school and I felt sort of teenagerishy too - drank cider, went in the pool drunk with black make-up dripping from my eyes, walked around wet and in a bikini, made out in a sauna (which was HOT in many ways), but went home alone cause I had to work today. And I feel proud that I declined a chance to get shitty half-ass drunk sex and got a good night's sleep.

but today I feel like I'm in love - it must be the spring, it's so sunny, I want to wear all colorful clothes, enjoy my 80's chic sunglasses, listen to awesome electronic music and dub step, walk around (I walked home from work today cuz in the morning I was too hung-over to ride my bicycle) and jump.

ah... I smell changes in the air.
14th-Mar-2009 05:14 pm(no subject)
men // heath smoke
and now tell me how can I cut down on my drinking, when my favorite cider is on a HUGE sale at the shop next to my house?!

duh!
19th-Feb-2009 11:42 pm(no subject)
men // james mcavoy bw bird
We know a place where no planes go
We know a place where no ships go

(Hey!) No cars go
(Hey!) No cars go
Where we know

We know a place no space ships go
We know a place where no subs go

That's where I want to be. Pack up a bag and just leave. This place and this life is sort of getting old. I am starting to get bored again.
4th-Jan-2009 09:16 am(no subject)
movies // my dear ophelia
I haven't stopped drinking since 30th. But there's nothing too fun in being sober anyway, so...
30th-Mar-2008 09:56 pm(no subject)
movies // pride and prejudice
Today was the first real day of Spring for me. Sunshine, spring's jacket, skirt and coffee in the park with girlfriends. Lovely. And today Eliza came back for her extreme trip - in one piece, real and touchable.

And I'm going to be a bride's maid!!! I just couldn't be happier!!! The first wedding I'm going to attend as a grown-up and I'm one of the bride's maids... *dances* Ok, I know it's girly and gay, but... I can't hide the excitement.


And I'm so glad for all these good things happening around me. Makes me forget the crap I've gotten myself into. Helps me sustain the positivy I'm filled with lately. Last 2 months or so, I feel good. I really do. Even though I'm fucked. Big time. But life is great. It really is.
16th-Jul-2006 12:07 am - I give you my destiny
misc // I feel fine
somehow I hate being here so much. I mean, Gauja, the wonderful house which is theoretically my family's house. I came here this afternoon and can't wait to leave first thing tomorrow. This place, I guess, is just too full of depressive puberty memories for me to handle. When I come here, I feel like I'm 14 again... That all these years have meant nothing. That I'm still there.

I hate it here. I could stay here by day, but the nights are unbearable. Will just try to ignore it all, go back to my attic, read Cider house rules and try to fall asleep as fast as I can so that I can wake up and GO HOME.
14th-Jun-2006 02:28 pm - the song of today
cartoons // daria and jane
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

the used -

"Buried Myself Alive"

you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm
red flashing lights
well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
and let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
so I could shut you out
and let you go away for a long time

I guess it's ok I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you're gonna have to ask

I think the chain broke away
and I felt it the day that I had my own time
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
but it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it home

I guess it's ok I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you're gonna have to ask
nicer than that
nicer than that

with my foot on your neck
I finally have you
right where I want you
right where I want you
right where I want you
right where I want you

I guess it's ok I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you're gonna have to ask
nicer than that
nicer than that
and if you want me back
you're gonna have to ask
nicer than that
nicer
nicer

10th-Mar-2006 03:55 pm(no subject)
cartoons // daria and jane
my first one...




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7th-Mar-2006 05:19 pm - I'm going friends only. Finally.
cartoons // daria and jane
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